A curious coalition

Posted: August 14, 2010 in Satire
Tags: , , , ,

 

On Free-Market Capitalism’s Secret Service.

Episode 2: A Curious Coalition.

With the SPECTRE of Bad News Politics consigned once more to the shadows and margins, MI4 have suffered great uncertainty and ignominy with Her Majesty shuffling her personnel deck. With no definitive selections, Her Royal Highness decides that it is in the country’s best interests to mix the more reputable with a majority of the more ruthless spies in the game.

New head agent Cameroon of MI4 insists that there will be no conflict of interests between his own blue picks and the more moderate yellow agents, and to demonstrate his good faith he hires diminutive head of the yellow agents NikNak Klegg, also spokesperson for the International Council of Dwarves.

Little does Her Majesty suspect that Cameroon is in fact a double-agent, acting against the country’s best interests in the name of his shadowy paymasters; an inordinately rich multinational syndicate of faceless corporations. Cameroon has thus far managed to conceal his unabashed admiration for commensurate tyrant Irma Bunt, who terrorised the British public throughout the 1980s, and Her Majesty’s hope that the influence of NikNak Klegg and his yellow cohorts would soften the brutal instincts of the blues has proven to be a false one. After initially announcing that he would be campaigning vehemently for dwarves’ rights, NikNak changes his tune on being offered a tailored suit, his own broom cupboard and all the spinach he can eat.

His outside supporters are dismayed at his sudden apathy to the causes he previously championed being ridden roughshod over by Double-Agent Cameroon. Cameroon, along with his head of finance and former school bullying partner the dastardly Doctor O., tells MI4 that their previous fiscal solvency was crippled by the ungrateful populace they were attempting to keep safe, and that the solution is to increase espionage to unheralded levels, and attempt to engineer monitoring of suspicious subjects 24 hours a day. Every protestor is immediately placed on this list, as were those who happened to look to MI4 for advice or assistance. Anyone non-compliant with the new constitution is immediately discredited and tracked.

While Her Majesty’s concerns are assuaged by a barrage of ingenious propaganda from Cameroon and his team, there are those from the previous agency who have their doubts as to the motives of this new assembly of agents. But who can possibly stop this new coalition, funded by the wealthiest bunch of ominous oligarchs, machiavellian magnates, mean moguls and tyrannical tycoons in the developed world…?

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Comments
  1. Brit Miller says:

    Hahaha, Irma Bunt! Cracking post.

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